Pride Edition: Bridging the gap between the LGBTQIA+ community and the disabled/chronically ill community - Part 2

Mary continues her conversation Season 5, All Stars 2 contestant of RuPaul's Drag Race, Detox for The Politics of Disability Pride series.

The two discuss continue their discussion on what it will take to bridge the gap between the LGBTQIA+ community and the disabled/chronically ill community, the rise, fall, and possible revival of virtual drag shows, building community during the pandemic, and more.

Episode content warnings: Mentions of ableism, adult language

The Politics of Disability was named Best Interview Podcast at the Astoria Film Festival in both October 2022 and again in June 2023.

Transcript

Mary (00:41): [music playing as Mary speaks] 

Hello everyone and welcome to season 2 of the award-winning podcast The Politics of Disability. My name is Mary Fashik. I am your host and founder of the Disability Justice movement Upgrade Accessibility.

(00:41): We’re still navigating that bumpy road, but there are lots of potholes along the way. You’ll want to make sure you’re buckled up really tight. All set? Here we go.

(00:47): Welcome back! Let’s see where we left off….oh, it was getting good! Are you all buckled in? Great! Let’s not waste any more time and get right to it.

Detox (01:03): Trying to pamper myself even if it's just laying in bed all day and watch, like catching up on television or watching my favorite movies. All of those things are, are good for self-care and I think self-care is really important. It's one thing that a lot of people don't really take time to do and I didn't really lean into that so much until the pandemic happened because, you know, I had no choice but to sit in my thoughts and, and stay at home and, and do a lot of the, the self-medicating and self [laughs] meditation and self rela, you know, all those things that I

Mary (01:41): It's ok, you, you can totally say self-medicating. So many of us in the disabled and chronically community, use cannabis, CBD, myself included, this is a big conversation that we have. So self-medicating is something we always talk about and take notes my fellow disabled and chronically ill advocates, myself included, we need to do more self-care.

Detox (02:12): It's really important and it's like, it's, it, it helps me stay somewhat sane even though I am definitely not [laughs]. It helps keep me. Um, it just helps bring me back a little bit to my own inner reality as opposed to, you know, the constant just taking on of all of the energies that I deal with throughout my daily going around.

Mary (02:36): I, I understand, [laughs] I really do. Um, now, as we head into Pride season, Pride events are frequently inaccessible. That is why last year I created a 100% virtual Pride event called Pride Our Way. Thank you for the cameo that you did for Pride Our Way, everyone loved it. Again, you have so many fans in the community, but Pride events and drag shows, they... early on in the pandemic, and I say early on because the pandemic is not over. So many of us are still home after three years. So many of us can get very, very ill from COVID. The pandemic is not over.

Detox (03:30): Mm-hmm. [affirmative]

Mary (03:31): Early on in the pandemic, Pride events, drag shows were accessible. Do you think virtual drag shows will make a comeback? You just did Play in Nashville, they did a virtual stream of their drag show to help...um, the drag defense fund, which was wonderful by the way. I loved it. Um, and I'm like, why can't more places do this? Because I may never be able to go to a drag show, I may never be able to see you perform in person. But doing something like setting up a livestream in 2023 is not that difficult.

Detox (04:24): Right. And I think, I think the pandemic taught us that and taught us how important it is to do livestream events because there's a whole, as you said, there's a whole market of people who either can't travel, don't wanna leave their home, cannot leave their home, um, who still wanna be supportive of it and also wanna be entertained by it and should have the access to it.
 
And I feel like, um, especially now that things are kind of getting back to normal with, with live performances, they, it should be something that is included in the planning process of it - live stre... especially like bigger events in the country. Like if you have the big, like the big pride events, pick a couple different cities, live stream them, you know, globally, internationally, nationwide, even just the community.
 
Do it and, you know, in whatever that city is because, um, it's important and it's important for, for people who don't wanna leave, who can't leave to feel like they're recognized as well and feel like they're included in on the party. Um, and I feel like there should be an easy way to do that. They do that all the time now with live streaming events on pay-per-view and, and whatever it should be. You know, a part of the Pride committees should be having those discussions and being like, what can we do this year to make this accessible to people who were not able to come?

Mary (05:53): So I'm gonna put you on the spot again. When say virtual, when I say virtual drag show, what is your like immediate like reaction? Because Brooke said to me, Brooke said there was nothing sadder than dancing around alone in her living like to do a virtual drag show. But I'm like, I understand that. Totally valid. But a lot of us have been home for three years.

Detox (06:23): Yeah.

Mary (06:24): So Iike, you know, there, and I'm not trying to call out Brooke, so please no one come after me for that .

Detox (06:32): [laughs]

Mary (06:32): I'm...I am not doing that. I'm just going off what was said in her interview and, and just get a different point of view. Like I know you do a lot of things at Roscoe's...

Detox (06:48):  Mm-hmm. [affirmative]

Mary (06:48): And, and Roscoe's films a lot of the performances and puts them on YouTube. So why is it it can't be live streamed?

Detox (07:01): Well, I mean, that's a good question. There are a lot of logistics when it comes to doing live events. Like even the one that we just had in Tennessee, um, was a bit of a clusterfuck, just to make sure everything was going, going as to plan, making sure all the, the streams were up, making sure every, like the camera angles were there. It takes a huge team, which is definitely another expense, but I feel like it's an expense that's worth it because especially if it's a ticketed event that you're doing online, like you'll make that money back and it'll, and probably make even more money because people are wanting to tune in from all over the place. Um, and as going back to the question of how I felt during digital drag era, it was a lot to just, to as a, as a, as a live performer, to not have the connection that I have with a live audience in front of me made me feel very cheesy at times.

(07:58): But it, and it was also difficult, me not being a technological savvy person at all, figuring out what the hell, like I ordered tons of equipment, I got all kinds of lighting, I got a camera, I like updated my computer, did all this so I could try to do digital drag. And when I tell you, I had no way it was such, I, it was more stress for me to do it. But I had, the ones that I had really good times doing were the ones that were live streamed on Zoom because then it was, it felt like there was still community there. And then I could interact with people and I could talk to people and I could see other people's faces and reactions as opposed to like looking at my little reflection in a screen and [laughs] performing for myself and feeling, feeling super cheesy doing it.

(08:45): So I had, I had a love hate relationship with Digital Drag at the same time. And, and also because at the beginning of the pandemic I was renovating my home. So like half of my house had no power. I had no hot water. It was like, it was [laughs] really difficult to even get into drag for digital drag at the beginning for me personally. But I loved, anytime I did those crazy Zoom parties, I had so much fun cuz I would just, I would go over to my sister's house who lives across the street. I would get her and her kids involved cuz we, they had nothing going on. We would decorate the house, put lights up everywhere and, and turn it into a party. And that was so much fun for me. And anytime that happens out there, if anyone does any of those parties, you holler and let a bitch know because... [laughs]

Mary (09:33): Well I am doing Pride Our Way again this year and Brita Filter has offered her time and talents to Pride Our Way. So if you are interested, we will love to have you.

Detox (09:50): Send me the deets and let me know and hopefully my schedule will allow it. And if not, then I can probably prepare, excuse me, prepare something in advance to at least send you guys to, to, to feel like I'm there.

Mary (10:02): That would be amazing. You are so loved in our community. And it's interesting to me how non-disabled people are like, well, you know, I didn't feel that connection. I didn't feel this, I didn't feel that. And I can tell you that my little friends group, we all know each other from Instagram.

Detox (10:27): Mm-hmm. [affirmative]

Mary (10:28): And now, now we have a group that I have like five people that I text every day. It's like, "Hey, how are you, how are you feeling today? How was your pain today?" So this idea that non-disabled people have that you can't have a true connection online. It, it's just wild to me when some of my closest friends are people that I met through social media and...

Detox (11:02): Well, let, let me, sorry, let me clarify really quick. The connection that I wasn't feeling was the live at that moment, wat.. like when I would sit and watch like tune into all of the shows and be in the chat rooms and that I had so much fun cause I would just sit in bed with my bottle of wine. Yes. Bottle of wine, [laughs] drinking out of the bottle. And I would take my little edibles and I would kiki, kiki, kiki. That was, that was really fun. I loved that. And in fact, similar to what you were saying, I got, I became like, I got so close with the, a core group of friends even here in Chicago cuz we would just do digital game nights and we would just, you know, hang out online and play video games together. And that got me into streaming, which is a lot of fun.

(11:50): Which is a great way of building community is streaming. Actually, I, I really miss when I would do my online gaming streams cuz I don't have time to do it anymore. But I had so much fun doing that cuz I got to meet all kinds of different people from all over the world. And you also don't really know anyone's story. Like, it's like, it's such an easy way for people to, to connect earnestly and um, without any kind of preconceived notions of who people are, what their, you know, what their stories are, where they come from.

Mary (12:24): And I think what you said is valid about, you know, how difficult it is to put together a virtual show. Like, you know, I, this is what I do all the time for work. Or

Detox (12:36): Mmhmm. [affirmative]

Mary (12:36): I would see like... I set up Zoom events and all of this stuff and it's difficult but that is why um, all of these venues or clubs should be consulting a disabled individual.

Detox (12:52): Yeah!

Mary (12:54): Because we are the ones that have the experience now. We are the ones that spent three years on Zoom. We are the ones making sure that there are closed captions, that there's an ASL interpreter, that there's so many other things. We know what the digital world is like and how to make the digital world accessible. So here's my call to all of these clubs who don't wanna do virtual drag shows. Please consider doing them even if it's once a month, once every month. And then hire disabled people to help you.

Detox (13:36): Yes.

Mary (13:37): That...that. I'll get off my soapbox now. But you know, that was something...

Detox (13:42): Never get off your soapbox! Stay on the soapbox. We need them.

Mary (13:47): Um, I wanna ask you, what is a message that you have for other drag performers regarding the disabled and chronically ill community? You have a huge following. And, and people love you. I have not heard one person say anything bad about every time I talk about you. I, my, again, my core group of friends, we, we have our little fan moments and we love you ...

Detox (14:21): [laughs]

Mary (14:21): so much. I don't think you know how love you are within my community. I hope you have had a little bit of an idea today, but what message do you have for your other drag performers, um, regarding the disabled and chronically ill community and what message do you have for us?

Detox (14:45): Well, to my counterparts and the people that are in my community who are non-disabled, um, all I have to say is to use your ears and listen. And, and I also thank you so much for, for being incessant and reaching out and, and making me hear you cuz it it's, you know, something that I don't necessarily see all the time. Um, and it's an honor and I, I appreciate it so much and thank you for letting me into your world and filling me in on all the amazing things that you do and, and, and shining a spotlight on yourself because I think that that's very important. Um, because, you know, I wouldn't know as much and I wouldn't have the access to understanding your community more. And I want to, and I wanna be able to, especially since I have such a following there, I, I, I wanna do right by you all. [laughs]

(15:45): And I wanna uplift you and I wanna make you feel loved. Cuz that's really my, my only goal in life is just to bring love to the world and to bring light and some kind of, um, brevity in this, in this crazy world that we're living in. So I thank you for the support and I hope that I can continue to share the love with all of you and hopefully get a chance to meet you all someday, [laughs] whether it be virtually or in person. Um, and just know that I'm hugging my computer. Here, I'm gonna turn my camera on even though I look cuckoo birds. So you can see I'm hugging my computer. [laughs]

Mary (16:24): And yes, she is hugging her computer, everyone. [laughs]

Detox (16:28): Um, don't look at my room. My room is a mess. Um, I have been gone for weeks.

Mary (16:33): No, we, I, I do wanna say yes, I was incessant. Um, I had to work very hard to get this interview and I wasn't going to stop until I got this interview. Because selflessly this is the person I wanted to meet the most. But this is also a person that over the past year has gotten to understand disability a little more. And also, I know how much people love you. Like people in my community, they love you. And last year when you did that Cameo for Pride Our Way people flipped out, they were so excited and, and I want, what I'm trying to do is bridge that gap. Beause we...there was such a huge intersection and something that I said at my speaking engagement this week was disability intersects at every identity. And until we meet people at their intersection, there will be no forward progression.

Detox (17:53): Mm-hmm [affirmative]

Mary (17:54): So I thank you for meeting me at my intersection and me, my community at our intersection.

Detox (18:03): And I thank you for welcoming me and I thank you for, um, letting me in.

Mary (18:11): Any final words or any final thoughts?

Detox (18:17): I just want everyone, this is for Pride season especially right now. Be as loud and outspoken and unabashedly queer and in your face about just how proud you are to be an authentic individual. Um, because we need it to, any of the allies that are out here listening or watching, we need your voices, especially now louder than ever.

Um, make sure you are encouraging anyone who are in your circles to go out there and get registered to vote. I know that's like, it's like beating a dead horse that saying, but it's like, it's true. We have to get to the polls, we have to do whatever it takes to get people registered to vote and to get involved in their local politics because it all starts locally and that's where we can make real change. 

Um, especially when it comes to other marginalized communities. Listen, use your ears. Listen, take time, be supportive. You know, we can't demand support if we're not supportive of each other. So I just wanna say I love you and thank you so much for having me and thank you for welcoming me.

Mary (19:32): Thank you. And for my hard of hearing and deaf friends, don't use your ears, read the transcript.

Detox (19:39): Yes! [laughs]

Mary (19:39): Read everything. And don't forget my disabled and chronically ill community, we are the ones that swung the 2020 election. disabled vote was the deciding vote. So please register to vote. And vote, I know that they are trying to keep us from voting, but we will make sure that we are as loud and proud as ever. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Detox (20:17): Thank you. Mary!

Mary (20:20): [music playing while Mary speaks]

(20:20): Thank you for joining me for this episode of the Politics of Disability Podcast.

(20:20): As you navigate your journey, remember: disability is political; disability is messy; disability is not palatable--nor does it have to be. [music playing]